Sunday, September 9, 2007

Why Do I Remember That?

Listening to friends reminisce about their childhood always brings a smile to my face. Experiences that lead people to where they are today are like pages in a book where if remain unread confusion and distraction fill the reader's mind. Knowing such details about a persons childhood or adolescence sometimes helps bridge that gap of mistrust and provides room for friendships to blossom, love to grow, and relationships to solidify. As i listened to the "remember when" and "oh and that one time" statements, I noticed a trend. While one remembered specific details and steps to the story, the other only remembered bits and pieces and vice versa. It makes me wonder, why? Why do I remember that? Or out of all the fantastic and unbelievable memories, why that one? How can one person discard a simple occurrence after a matter of seconds, and another store that same occurrence in the foreground of their memory bank forever?

I would love to quote a very influential TV sitcom that we had all grown to love, hate, or simply add to our list of shows we had to surf through to get to the "good stuff."

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." From the television show The Wonder Years... oh yes I just did.

There is a lot of truth in that statement. Let's break it down, through the life of Mr. Edwards. Now if this doesn't help bridge the gap that exists between your and my relationship, all hope is lost.

First, holding on to things that I love. There are the apparent memories, Christmas at Grandpa & Grandma's, Playing with my folks at the park (when I was an only child of course), running around naked as a child with my first puppy Ziggy (not much has changed), my first little sister and subsequent sisters, the first time I felt true love, the divine love I felt walking the streets of Venezuela, and the list goes on. Perhaps there are those memories that may not be so apparent, those that help us hold onto to love even tighter. The memory of a loving parent disappointed by an act or a decision not to act by a child. This side of things dips into the realm of divine love. Those painful memories, hard experiences, stinging occurrences that pushed us into a corner so tight that the only direction we could look was up and realize all that mattered was the Love of a Heaven Father toward His child. A good friend carries a fanny pack on motorcycle rides for easy access to water, cell phone, money, etc... What memories of love are we keeping in our fanny pack for easy access in times of thirst, emergency, and trouble...? Holding on to things we love helps us love others, find love, and after enough time start to imagine the greatness of His love.

Second, holding on to the things that I am. Flashes of elementary school, teachers, friends, and even enemies. A good friend decided to vomit up his sausage one day when we had breakfast for lunch, a life changing experience... if you're allergic to sausage don't eat it, I will never forget. A 5th grade teacher that got me to get up to sing for a school play, the Mother of my girlfriend at the time gave me a great compliment. From that point on I have had more luck getting Mothers to fall in love with me than I have had with their daughters. I could go on for days... I suppose that is what a journal is for. From times with just Mom and me at home to right now sitting in a cold station waiting for someone to get sick, the times in our lives that make us who we are must be cherished. I can't remember the last time I just sat and remembered... it feels great.

And third, the things we never want to lose. Is that what it's all about? Do we subconsciously tuck memories away because we know, no matter what happens, that those are things we never want to lose. I understand all things will be brought to our recollection after our death, so let's just talk about here in this life. Let me forget about the time I heard a loud bang when I was 5, or the smell of that one girl, or why I remember and always will how to say every state in alphabetical order. How can those help me hold on to love or learn who I am. Let's focus on the memories that we really don't want to lose, but... wait..., that loud bang I heard was one of the only memories I have of living in Colorado, and the smell of that one girl brings back memories of laughter, peace, fun, and the teacher who taught me about the states... she was my favorite. I will never want to lose those memories.

Why don't I lose this memory? Why can't I lose this memory? How does holding on to this experience bring happiness into my life? Maybe these are the questions we should be asking ourselves. "Don't live in the past" sure, you can say that. "Live in the now" yeah, why not? But hey, I'm bringing this stuff along for the ride. Someone up there is stuffing this information in my brain for a reason, and I better use it. I better enjoy it. I better appreciate it and I most definitely better hold on to it. What do you remember that at first glace could be disregarded as "just something I remember, don't know why" and turns out to be something you don't want to lose? I have found some, maybe you can too.